found the camera.  it's with kristi. 

Okay, that should actually be just finished instead of currently reading.  A few quotes to share:

'The mason said, "I believe in the floor.  I put it in place and I walk on it.  Faith is a floor.  If you don't work at making it for yourself, you have nothing to walk on."'  pg. 75

Lucrezia's monologue: "Out of our need we patronize our artists, we flirt with our poets, we petition our architects: give us your lustly colorful world.  Signal to us a state of being more richly steeped in purpose and satisfaction than our own."  pg. 187

Bianca da Nevada: "But there is time.  Again, there is time.  It rushes like a cloud of insects, an aeration of instants fluttering up from fissures in the ground, against my face; I brush them to see through them, beyond; but I try to see them as well, the instants.  Each leaf, whether she be like her sister or not.  Each creak of the brother timbers of the world.  Each moment of rot and blossom, by turns and simultaneous, and the world in colossal panorama behind, ninety billion instants flying up like snow blown in my face."  pg. 276

Interesting book.  In the readers discussion guide at the end of the book, it mentions that Maguire does not want to be known as a writer who retells fairy tales for adults.  I'm having trouble seeing it as anything but that.  Wicked was easier to look at as not a fairy tale because of its political and social nature, but Mirror Mirror seems as much as a fairy tale as ever.  Set in 16th century central Italy made it even more appealing.  :)

I leave for Chicago a week from today.  How exciting! 

I had coffee with two people this week: Steven and Sarah.  Steven and I have known each other for over ten years - we've grown up with each other and he's three years younger than me, but he has matured so much and is growing up so much like me.  Granted we've been raised very similar to each other, but he is one of the best guys I know, I think.  Too bad he's dating someone.

Sarah I think will always be a friend of mine - she's student teaching in music this fall also, and it's so much fun to talk about teaching, and philosophies, and teacher-clothes, and kids, etc.  I can't wait to be in a profession that requires me to rely so closely on my friends, and I'm so blessed to have friends I won't hesistate to rely on. 

My sister just tripped walking up the steps.  It was funny. 

I ventured towards Lake Calhoun last night for a gathering of members of the Minnesota Inline Skate Club.  They were having a speed and endurance skate, so I thought I would try it out.  Considering the fact that it was 97 degrees when we gathered, there were only five people.  Four guys and me.  We started out at a good pace, then quickly broke into two groups.  The first seven or eight miles were against the wind, in the hot sun, so we averaged about 13 miles an hour.  This was the hardest part.  It was soooo tempting to tell the guys in my group to just skate on and not worry about waiting for me, for I could just find my own way back.  (The only thing was that I had absolutly NO idea where I was.  Completly lost.)  But I didn't say anything, I just pushed and pushed myself to keep up with them.  I'll admit, I did feel like getting sick a few times because it was so hot and I was out of water after the first six miles or so.  But, around the halfway point the trail veered the other direction, and all of a sudden we were going with the wind, in a straight line in the shade.  We formed a pace line and quickly averaged about 16 miles an hour...what a rush!  We broke a few times to slow down for h2o, but otherwise the second half of the skate was fantastic.  By the time we reached the parking lot, I was a dripping disgusting mess, my heart was racing somewhere in the 170 range, my sunglasses were fogged up, the inside of my helmet was soaked with sweat, and I had two blisters on my feet, but wow did I feel good.  Driving home, part of me was frustrated with the fact that I was slower than them, but the other part argued that there's no way I would have been able to skate that a year ago, and it was my first run out with the guys, and it was 97 degrees.  I decided I deserved some credit.  :) So, I'm proud of my adventure.  I'm going back next week.

We are headed for another 100 degree day, and I'm not entirely thrilled that I have to work at the beach.  Perhaps it will storm this afternoon.  Probably not.

Life is beautiful.

wow it's been a long time since I've written...

so much to write and...so much time.  it's nice to finally say that.  I'm done with classes, which is the biggest relief in the world.  and I got three A's.  that's more than I ever expected from this summer.  My psych of education prof even asked to keep my unit plan.  what an honor.

the magic number is approaching 40.  I'm back in the game again. 

my softball team played like a real team tonight.  I couldn't believe it.  our second win of the entire season!!  the other team looked really disappointed afterwards, and I felt bad for about two seconds, until I realized I've spent the entire season dealing with losses.  I've spent the last two months trying to make the girls feel good about themselves...there's no reward like tonight.  wait, there is something better.  all the girls touched the ball.  every single person hit it and had it in their hand during the game.  I love this feeling, and it's why I coach!!

Chicago is next week.  AHHH!!! Virginia is working on hotel stuff, Mike is coming, Gordon is going to be there...I'm bursting at the seams.  But wait, Kristin comes in Sunday night!!!!!!  :)  I could leave and return to mn right then and be content.  But hold your horses!  There are blue lake people coming in!!  What's going on?  Caroline's going to Chicago and half of her friends are coming in to see her!!! 

I'm not heading to Guyana...long long story.  I had a lengthy conversation with my mom about it, and by the end, without ever really saying it, we both knew what was right.  She told me off the bat that she couldn't figure out if this was right or not, but after an hour or so we both knew.  My current guess as to why God put me through this is to keep me on my toes.  To never expect the predictable...

I wiped out skating again today.  That's two wipeouts, and my main route gravelled.  I can't help but wonder if God is telling me not to skate!!  The first fall yielded a lot of lost skin and much blood, but today yielded something along the lines of the splits, and a very sore knee...not a pretty situation.  So far tylenol and ice is solving the problem.

I made another decision this week.  :)  I'm going to get my certification to teach group fitness classes at the gym.  I'm there all the time anyway, I can do a better job than the 5:30am teacher is, and Ashley is all for it.  It's a lot of money upfront, but if I'm working out consitently anyway, why not get paid to do it sometimes?  $20 a class two or three times a week wouldn't be bad. 

We went shopping today.  It finally hit me that I am going to be a teacher...buying teacher clothes.  My pants wardrobe is currently limited  to a pair of jeans and black pants because nothing else fits, so that's a challenge, but we're working on it.  Khaki, cords, brown pants...and lots of skirts.  I can't wait to teach because I can't wait to dress like a teacher. 

Ugh.  my sweat pants are sticking to my raspberry from my wipeout today.

Mom and Annette are out at Madison for orientation today.  I can't believe she's going to college. 

I'm not getting up until 7 tomorrow morning.  That makes me super-duper happy.

I can't find my camera.  That is driving me nuts, and makes me VERY frustrated. 

I can't think of what else to write, other than life is beautiful right now.  It's exactly how I would want it, even the rough things.  I feel so blessed.  :) 

Okay.  I finished the paper.  I think it's fantastic - once I got going I couldn't stop, and it might be one of my favorites ever.  Thomas Aquinas and John Stuart Mill havign a discussion in a bar in Morocco...definitly a random take on a normal paper.

So, it might actually happen.  And now that it's real, I'm second guessing myself all over the place.  What if it was an impulse move during a time of dealing with the familiar unknown post-graduation?  What about the softball team I was supposed to coach again?  What about my student loans?  What about my magazine subscription?  What about staying in shape and all this work that's gone into fixing myself?  What about my family?  What about my friends who are all growing up and getting married and getting jobs?  What about my teaching license?  What about my bank accounts?  What about medical insurance?  What if what if what if?  So many unknowns and it's all happening so fast.  They can't possibly expect me to have all this figured out by January.  Much less be recovered from student teaching and be mentally, emotionally and physically ready to move to south america.  What about packing for a year?!?!

And, what about my faith?  The organization is a lutheran church, which is fine, but I'm a strong catholic and I'm not giving that up.  I know they will not ask that of me, and I know they will have plenty of tolerance for my beliefs, but how do I create the balance they are looking for between my faith and working for them?

God works in strange ways. 

A large section of my paper was Aquinas talking about why humans are not like animals even though we share a natural inclination toward sexual intercourse and care and education of offspring.  It would have been a heck of a lot easier to just stop at the animals part.

Tonight in class we were talking about rewards and kids and learning, and I realized that large portions of our discussions revolve around failing, and how to handle it in the classroom.  Why do we have to deal with this?  What sort of society makes failing a bad thing?  It's a mistake, and it's not the end of the world.  What if success were a bad thing and failure were a good thing?

I have class in a the morning and I want to attempt the new skates again before I leave.  The last time I was on them was Saturday, and I became well aquainted with the road in a nice spill.  I hope la mattina e' piu' buona.   

The sun rose again this morning.  And it did yesterday too.  And on Sunday.  It's interesting to think that the sun doesn't actually rise, rather we turn ourselves toward the sun.

The weekend was good.  Well, mostly.  We had lots of people up at the cabin, and did not really do much, which was the good part.  Lots of waterskiing, tubing, swimming, games, etc.  My mom and I went for a run, which was nice because it has been a long recovery road after her surgery and running is something she is slowly getting back into.  I went rollerblading on Saturday, and was aquainted with the road.  I took a large chunk out of my knee and finger, and its been four days since I've skated.  Not good considering I have another marathon in August and new skates that take three weeks to break in.  (I also ripped part of a toe nail off, so at any given moment various parts of me hurt A LOT.)

Yesterday was evidence as to why I needed to quit that job.  We had people at the lake that I haven't seen in a year, and I would have only spent Sunday with them if I would have driven back for work.  But, I didn't have to, so I spend all day Monday with them too.  Lots of laying in the sun and waterskiing, and catching up.  That's what summer is for, not working.

Almost done with classes...

Freshly picked strawberries...mmmmm....

The guy who is my main contact for Guyana is calling me this morning to discuss stuff further.  I mentioned this to my mom, and she asked me if I was really serious about this.  I think I might be.  Depending on how this phone conversation goes...

I'm working at the beach today.  I'm not sure I can handle six more hours in the sun after this weekend. 

No brain surgery for dad.  Alleluia. 

I can't think of anything else to write.  I totally agree with Cat's post that starting the day out with productive things makes a difference.  But, sometimes summer is meant for sloth days.  Just not too many of them.  :)

I'm going to sign off for now and wait for the phone to ring.